You just never know do you? Relationships that you think will last don’t, and those you assume will fade away… they become stronger, more meaningful than you could imagine.
Back in March I wrote about my coaching days, and how those ties endure. I had such a special moment last week that I just have to share it.
Last Friday was the end of a very trying week for me. I recall pausing around 3pm that day and telling myself, “I think I’ll just go home and cry tonight.” Little did I know…
I survived the Boston commute, climbed the stairs to the front door and checked the mail. There was a small box in the post. I remembered Kristen, one of My Girls, had asked me for my address a few days prior, she said she had something for me. This must be it!
I climbed yet another flight of stairs to my door, fed the cats (they always come first!) and then opened the box from Kristen. I had guessed it might be a momento she had found…I couldn’t imagine what else she would send me.
Inside I found a gauze bag holding a silver cuff. The cuff was inscribed with the words: I wish you enough.
Of course I burst into tears.
And there was more: a poem and a card.
The card explained how she came across the poem, and found it so meaningful that she had a friend make cuffs with the saying for her to give to friends. She also wrote, “You were an incredible role model for me growing up—much more than just a coach. You should be extremely proud of yourself to have had the opportunity, which you seized, to make an incredibly positive mark on the lives of many women. I wish you enough, my friend…” The poem is “I Wish You Enough,” by Bob Perks:
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goodbye.
I am still so moved by this gesture that I can barely see the screen as I type this through the fresh flow of tears.
Honestly, I’ve had a rough year. Society expects women to be sweet and kind all the time. As a result, we either feel guilty when we are otherwise, or we brainwash ourselves not to feel much: I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Sometimes we aren’t fine—and dammit, it’s okay! You have to let it out. You have to stand up for yourself. But you have to grow from your hurt, let it make you wiser, stronger. Then it’s possible to appreciate the challenges life throws your way.
I don’t need fancy. I don’t need extravagant or over-the-top. I don’t need expensive. All I need is enough.
Treat me with respect. Be honest. Be consistent.
I want to feel appreciated. I want to contribute. I want to use my skills and my insight.
I’d like a safety net, emotionally and financially.
Who doesn’t want these things?
Kristen’s timing was impeccable. She sent me the message I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. Not only the poem’s reminder that life is full of ups and downs, but knowing that someone cares. When I attempted to tell my mom about the gift later that night (it was tricky: I thought I had pulled it together, but I lost my words and had to end the call), she said, “See? People are thinking of you!”
It’s such a simple thing.
Needless to say, this sweet, thoughtful gift is now a cherished possession. And I did go home and cry that night, but the tears of frustration were mixed with tears of joy.
If you are inspired to reach out to someone, do it! They just might need to hear from you…
Motor City Expat 